Running into a narcissist at work is unfortunate by any means. It can potentially cause the person to feel drained enough to leave their position. On the other hand, confronting a narcissistic supervisor is not a good option because winning against a narcissist is highly unlikely. The first thing you have to realize is that you are not the problem. Feeling guilty is normal but you shouldn’t feel guilty for what they have put you through, especially if your supervisor has narcissistic behavior patterns. There is a proper way to communicate and most of the time narcissistic supervisors are not the type of people that can convey the right words or emotions delicately in a conversation.
It’s also important to note that decisions should be taking place as to whether sticking around or deciding to leave is the best for you. Mental health and physical health should always be prioritized in this type of situation. It’s all about not letting a narcissist’s words get the best of you and not letting their actions trifle with your integrity. A dignified human being deserves to be treated well and a narcissist shouldn’t lead you to question the impact you have made on the company. Manevouring in the workplace is probably difficult for you especially if you don’t have the right tools to deal with someone like a narcissist. Here are some important steps to take when dealing with a narcissistic supervisor:
Recognizing Their Behavior
The first thing that needs to be recognized is their behavior patterns. Narcissistic behavior looks like someone who is constantly one-upping you and making you feel like the lesser one. Narcissists display traits like a need for admiration, a lack of empathy, and a sense of entitlement. It can really be difficult to work with someone who is narcissistic especially when there is a power imbalance. A big characteristic of a narcissist is their level of immaturity for their age. Another sign to look out for is the throwing of tantrums at work because they didn’t get their way. Along with being arrogant, exploitative, inclining towards self-importance, and preoccupying themselves with success, these are all signs of someone having narcissistic traits.
Maintain Professionalism
A narcissist thrives when they start playing with your emotions. Keeping your composure and professionalism even when your supervisor tries to make inappropriate commentary helps prevent friction. Being aware of your emotions is vital when dealing with a narcissistic supervisor. Narcissists can try to pull your confidence apart so it’s best to stay calm even when they try to test you. Directly follow your job description and keep your emotions in check at all times. Don’t ever let an external force that you can’t control take authority over your life and especially your emotions.
Document Everything
Documenting what you do at work should be a normal practice but even more so when it comes to a narcissistic supervisor. Write out in detail what your assignments, projects, and deadlines are and what you accomplished or finished throughout that week. This helps with providing evidence when an inconvenient circumstance arises. Documentation can be very valuable when you need to address the issue with HR or higher management.
Set Boundaries
Setting boundaries is essential for your mental health and it’s also a way to protect your emotional energy. Set your boundaries with your supervisor by being assertive but also respectful when communicating your limits. Communicate what you can and can’t do according to your job description. If they retaliate, always remember to stay calm. Their behavior is a direct reflection of who they are and it has nothing to do with you as a person.
Find Support
When running into this situation it can be absolutely draining to your mental health and your emotional energy. Find someone who is trustworthy and willing to listen to your concerns. This could be anyone like a colleague, partner, family member, or friend. Your support system during these times is key to finding an escape from the emotional toll that your narcissistic supervisor has caused.
Effective Communication
You want to use effective communication when communicating with your narcissistic supervisor. Be concise, clear, and solution-oriented when meeting with them. Try to stray away from conversations that can lead to emotional conversations or arguments. Instead, stick to the facts and present them with the appropriate research. If you got this far into the post you start to notice a pattern consistently showing up. This pattern is in order to deal with a narcissist one needs to play a stoic character. Becoming stoic is a good way to manage the politics of the job until you can find other opportunities.
Focus On Results
Shift your focus on the quality of your work and building results. Achieve your goals at work as this will help you maintain a sense of accomplishment despite the challenges of working with a narcissistic supervisor.
Consider Escalating The Issue
If the behavior gets unbearable and it starts affecting your quality of life then it’s a good idea to consider escalating the issue to HR or higher management. There is a benefit in showcasing your documentation and voicing your concerns professionally. It’s important to remember that there are some companies that value mental health while others value work ethic. If you work for a company that follows work ethic as its core value then communicate how it’s affecting your work life. Finding a middle ground between the administration and you will help you in the long run.
Explore External Opportunities
If the behavior has become too toxic and HR is not providing solutions then it might be time to find a new job at another company. A narcissistic supervisor can hinder your career growth and your well-being. Moreover, your main priority is you, your mental health, and your safety. Applying to other companies can bring you better work and salary opportunities. It’s also a good thing to listen to your colleagues, friends, and family’s insights on local work opportunities.
Practice Self-Care
Dealing with a narcissistic supervisor can lead to feeling emotionally drained. It’s so important to prioritize self-care outside of work. Some great ways to practice self-care are to engage in exercise, hobbies, eating healthy, and spending time with loved ones. Finding those specific relaxing and entertaining activities that make your days better will help provide you with peace and clarity.
Remember you can’t change an individual’s narcissistic personality, but you can control your emotions and your reactions. In some cases, it would be the best decision to leave the job for the sake of your mental and emotional health. It can be a traumatizing event after working with a narcissistic supervisor but there are many ways to heal from it like going through therapy. Once you have moved on from the situation, take time to build beautiful memories with friends and family, journal your emotions, read books, and enjoy nature. Healing can take time but it’s possible to recover from the damage after indulging in your healing journey.
